Spam Song
Today’s post comes to us courtesy of illustrator-extrordinaire, Dave Clegg. Thanks for letting us share your creativity with others, Dave!
S.P.A.M. (Stupid People Are Many) ©2008 Dave Clegg
I booted my Mac for to check my e-mail.When I clicked on the in-box it started to swell.Must’ve been nine hundred messages deep,And nary a one did I de-sire to keep.Well, being the curious soul that I am,I had me a look at a chunk of that spam.The assumptions about me made me so proud.I’m broke, bald and lonely and under-endowed.You could hang all the scoundrels who spread this pollution,But I have a much more effective solution.Let’s round up the turkeys who fall for these liesAnd repeat these words until they realize…There’s no magic potion to re-grow your hair,And there’s no way to add any inches down there.You ain’t won the lottery. It’s a scam.And you’re the dumb sucker who bites on the spam.You’re just the dumb sucker who bites on the spam.There’s no better way to gain a man’s trust,Than to play to his greed, vanity and lust.All logic and reason get stuck in the mudFor dreams of becoming a rich, handsome stud.Now, spammers are evil, no argument here.But without willing dupes, they’d all disappear.So to all of you dim-witted, gullible fools,Here’s a life lesson you won’t learn in school.There’s no magic potion to re-grow your hair,And there’s no way to add any inches down there.You ain’t won the lottery. It’s a scam.And you’re the dumb sucker who bites on the spam.You’re just the dumb sucker who bites on the spam.Now, finally! Here’s one that could be legit.A stock with potential, a guaranteed hit!All I need, now, is to choose an amount,Then hand them the keys to my checking account.There’s no magic potion to re-grow your hair,And there’s no way to add any inches down there.You ain’t won the lottery. It’s a scam.And you’re the dumb sucker who bites on the spam.You’re just the dumb sucker who bites on the spam.
April 25th, 2008 at 10:34 am
In light of my last couple days of SPAM your poem has impeccable timing. Must be the same yahoos!
Cheers, Austin