Spam Song

 
April 24th, 2008 by Harry

Today’s post comes to us courtesy of illustrator-extrordinaire, Dave Clegg. Thanks for letting us share your creativity with others, Dave!

S.P.A.M. (Stupid People Are Many) ©2008 Dave Clegg

I booted my Mac for to check my e-mail.
When I clicked on the in-box it started to swell.
Must’ve been nine hundred messages deep,
And nary a one did I de-sire to keep.
Well, being the curious soul that I am,
I had me a look at a chunk of that spam.
The assumptions about me made me so proud.
I’m broke, bald and lonely and under-endowed.
You could hang all the scoundrels who spread this pollution,
But I have a much more effective solution.
Let’s round up the turkeys who fall for these lies
And repeat these words until they realize…
There’s no magic potion to re-grow your hair,
And there’s no way to add any inches down there.
You ain’t won the lottery. It’s a scam.
And you’re the dumb sucker who bites on the spam.
You’re just the dumb sucker who bites on the spam.
There’s no better way to gain a man’s trust,
Than to play to his greed, vanity and lust.
All logic and reason get stuck in the mud
For dreams of becoming a rich, handsome stud.
Now, spammers are evil, no argument here.
But without willing dupes, they’d all disappear.
So to all of you dim-witted, gullible fools,
Here’s a life lesson you won’t learn in school.
There’s no magic potion to re-grow your hair,
And there’s no way to add any inches down there.
You ain’t won the lottery. It’s a scam.
And you’re the dumb sucker who bites on the spam.
You’re just the dumb sucker who bites on the spam.
Now, finally! Here’s one that could be legit.
A stock with potential, a guaranteed hit!
All I need, now, is to choose an amount,
Then hand them the keys to my checking account.
There’s no magic potion to re-grow your hair,
And there’s no way to add any inches down there.
You ain’t won the lottery. It’s a scam.
And you’re the dumb sucker who bites on the spam.
You’re just the dumb sucker who bites on the spam.

One Response to “Spam Song”

  1. Austin Says:

    In light of my last couple days of SPAM your poem has impeccable timing. Must be the same yahoos!

    Cheers, Austin

Leave a Reply